she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
