And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
