I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
