There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
