Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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