You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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