I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
