wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
