is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
