Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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