If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
