the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
