You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
