HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
