You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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