wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
