I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
