we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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