i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
