It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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