I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
