Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
