Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
