Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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