You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
