I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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