I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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