I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
