You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
