I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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