Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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