Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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