god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
