Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
