had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
