How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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