He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
