Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This toilet bowl is my home.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
