38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
