i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
