so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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