Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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