It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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