I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
