Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
