I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
