did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
