I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
