Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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