Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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