I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
