Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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