Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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